January 2010
textsfromlastnight:
(214): So Delta doesn’t take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I should try that. They would probably let you on Virgin America or something.
December 2009
ROYALE WITH CHEESE
(via thumbswithhands)
You know why they call it that?
textsfromlastnight:
(307): burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Reblog for Mitch Hedberg reference.
clientsfromhell:
Client: Can you un-blur the background on this photo?
Me: Unblur?
Client: Yeah, I want the whole image to be super sharp. I don’t particularly care for that whole deep field thing you keep telling me about.
Me: You mean depth of field?
Client: Yeah, whatever. Just unblur it.
Me: That’s impossible.
Client: I’ve seen it done on CSI.
I HATE seeing that crap done on TV.
textsfromlastnight:
(732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I would do that.
textsfromlastnight:
(941): my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
textsfromlastnight:
(609): I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
textsfromlastnight:
(615): I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
textsfromlastnight:
(469): Just turned rock’em sock’em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
That’s what prevents turning awesome kid games into drinking games.
Let the kids drink whatever they want.
FURNITUREPORN.COM →
thumbswithhands:
i think this site was made at the advent of web 2.0 but it still provides countless laughs
Classic. Not only funny, but it’s actually what the internet looked like 10 years ago.
Why Do You Stay Up So Late? →
(via lashante)
